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In this honest and insightful she said/she said guide, sixteen-year-old Natalie Fuller tells all about her adventures and misadventures from ages thirteen through sixteen. Her brother, Greg, fills in on the later teen years. And Doris, the questioning, caring (and occasionally shell-shocked) mom offers her take on such mildly eye-opening and downright life-threatening topics as...
alcohol and other drugs * sex and dating * school * appearances * partying * stealing * obsessions * secrets * lying
Promise You Won't Freak Out gives parents a complete picture of how teens really think, feel, and act. And it gives kids a better understanding of why this picture freaks their parents out. For both, it offers some very helpful information-and an inspiring example of successful parent/teen communication.
- Sales Rank: #887931 in Books
- Published on: 2004-05-04
- Released on: 2004-05-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.18" h x .65" w x 5.47" l, .50 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 237 pages
Amazon.com Review
When teens misbehave, sometimes they break the law, but every time, they break your heart. Among other horrors, Doris Fuller has lived to tell the story of her daughter Natalie crossing state lines to attend a keg party at the house of an older boy she hardly knew--after lying by saying she'd be at a sleepover. Fortunately, this was during Natalie's self-described "wild" phase, which petered out after a couple of unpleasant binge-drinking episodes during her sophomore year of high school. For any parent wishing their teen's hedonistic phase would fade away--or parents in such denial that they don't think their kid is capable of being wild--Promise Me will provide much guidance for navigating the emotional quagmire of adolescence.
Doris and Natalie provide mother-and-daughter perspectives on school, friends, dating, drug use, and sex, revealing an inherited self-deprecating sense of humor as well as a remarkable relationship that eventually came to be centered on mutual trust. Unlike some parents she knows, Doris doesn't depend on spy-ware, snooping, or diary reading to find out what Natalie's up to. Instead, she taps her journalism background to ask oblique questions that tend to get Natalie talking, not rolling her eyes or running to her room. Doris's list of useful questions for each topic may be too effective; she admits it was nearly impossible to act nonchalant when Natalie confessed that a 14-year-old friend had been experimenting with oral sex. (She also provides a helpful glossary of slang sexual expressions).
When Natalie does push the limits, Doris (generally) implements appropriate consequences for her to face. In the case of the out-of-state kegger, that meant no more car privileges for two months. (It's likely there's a copy of Parenting with Love and Logic on the bookshelf at their house.) Some of the most comically eye-opening passages in Promise Me feature tales of teens whose parents were extremely strict, only to find that their teen went to great lengths to hide hell-raising behavior from them (as in the case of the nerdy reverend's daughter who gets pregnant). Fuller's found the recipe for building trust and respect from teenagers, and parents would do well to heed her hard-earned advice. -- Erica Jorgensen
About the Author
Doris A. Fuller is a journalist and former high school and college teacher. She is the co-author of A Woman's Guide to a Simpler Life.
Natalie Fuller is a typical sixteen-year-old who likes writing, shopping, boys, movies, cooking, watching reality TV shows, painting, and well, boys.
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
The best book about modern teens I've ever read
By A Customer
This book is terrific. Fascinating, provocative, funny, entertaining, wise.
I couldn't put it down. The alternating voices of mother and daughter give it a liveliness and an energy that captivated me utterly. This is stuff for which all moms (in particular) should have an inexhaustible appetite.
The authors do a sensitive and compelling job of communicating the drawbacks of many of the questionable behaviors that are discussed. Any parent who shares it with their teen will send a clear signal about the value of open communication,
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Better than the rest
By A Customer
After reading "Reviving Ophelia", "Queen Bees and Wanna Bes", and "Odd Girl Out", I have to say that this book was the most helpful (and the least scholarly). I make no judgments on the relationships between these two attributes, but this book offered the most practical advice. My daughter is 12, so a lot of the information is yet to come into play, but I feel better about having it. I especially enjoyed the discussion of parents who are in denial that their darling daughters would ever do such things. There's a lot of that thinking going on among the parents of my daughters friends, and it's good to hear someone keeping it real.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Fun, Frank and Fascinating
By A Customer
Written with a fine sense of humor and remarkable candor, "Promise You Won't Freak Out" provides entertaining and informative reading. The writing is wonderful, crisp and clear; the information, though sometimes frightening, is priceless for parents and useful for the rising teen; and the illustration of communication between teen and parent is heartwarming and encouraging.
The authors skillfully hide sound, sage advice and information in delightful anecdotes that depict a teen's mindset and a parent's ability to survive it. At the end of each chapter, Doris and Natalie offer "Conversation Starters," questions to help parent or child broach subjects such as sex, booze, drugs, etc. Doris (the mom) occasionally weighs in with secrets of how she acts as a "guerilla mom" to break the teen code of silence.
A few parents may choose not to believe the frank description of some actions and thoughts of today's teens while some teens may wish that their parents hadn't read it at all! But parents and teens alike will find "Promise" an unforgettable, sometimes hilarious, and always enjoyable adventure.
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